Guys, now I am using the services of the agency biodads,don't know if you remember, and have to wait nine months, such a big term. So today I was thinking about the fact, how the agency ususally chooses the surrogate mothers? I know that they have to pass all medical tests, and have to have at least one healthy child, but I am thinking about bad habits. Usually they all say that they don't have them, but nine months - is a so long term not only for us, but also for her. I read that sometimes on the last stage, when she will feel like the baby moves - she may have a nervous breakdown, so how to be sure that she will not smoke and drink... Maybe a little, but anyway it is bad for a child. What do you think about it guys???
Daniel - a good question. As for as i know - it is pointed out in the agreement between the surrogate mother and the agency - that she does not smoke, does not drink alcohol, does not use the drugs (as well as the number of the medications) during the gestation - and even starts to do that before the gestation. If there will be anything wrong with the baby by her fault - she is not going to get the payment.. that is fair enough. As for the nervous breakdowns you were mentioning - I think that it is not something can be predicted - and i suppose that they are passing the serious psychological training before attending to the program.
Daniel - well sure the surrogate mother is under constant surveillance of the agency! she is being monitored on the condition of her health very attentively. Cause if she is going to screw it up - the agency will be the one who are going to be blamed - and who are going to suffer the penalty, I suppose. the agency does care of its clients of courser - and most of all it does care about the result of the gestational program.. It is everything for them - not only the outcome of one single "order" - but their reputation. they would not let some surrogate mother to ruin everything just cause she wanted to get stoned occasionally)
Daniel, you know I've never thought about it before but it is rather interesting. You can't be sure for 100 % that she will not do it. But on the other hand if we speak about the agency which thinks about its reputation I think the chances for this are minimized. And the feedbacks of the clients also contribute much to their reputation!
this is not something you need to worry about. Because in this case - as in the most cases with the surrogacy - this is not of your concern . you are not in control of this - the agency is. And I am sure they have a pretty good control over it. The guys wrote here already that it would be a really mess for the agency first of all - if the surrogate mother would screw up cause of such simple and silly things as the alcohol or the drugs, so you think they would allow this situation simply to slip out of their hands? they are not that silly) there are many things that we do not have to be worried about thanks to the agency assistance, actually)
Guys, i know that this is complete responsibility of the agency, and that will be their fault if something will be wrog and happen with the child, i also read about it in the contract, but recently I read some information about it, and some guys even wrote that they used the services of the detectives in order to watch for surrogate mother, because they did not trust their agency. So what do you think about it? Is it normal, or you think that this is paranoia???
Detectives? that is nice) Of course - in addition to the agency, you may hire the detective, lawyer, doctor and God knows who else) But in this case i suppose you would not need to use the agency at all I suppose) the very point of the agency service is that it provides you with all the complex of the necessary things that eventually give you what you want - the healthy child. All you need to do is to find a good and reliable agency to work with - and not to do this nonsense) Of course it looks like a paranoia with this detective stuff - there are no other words to call it) And I hope you are got going to get to this)
Ben, you know, recently I read a topic about genetic diseases, and other difficulties that can appear after, when you will be at home with your child. So yes, i am interested in all these now, because I don't want to have such situation in future, and to sorry that I did not control all that...
Hi Daniel! very funny topic!) I never heard about something like this and laughed a lot when I read about detectives... As i understood, and see from your words, you are already nervous, and are ready to hire detective? really dude? How can you imagine this? He will call you practically every minute to tell when she went to the toilet and what she had for breakfast? or will send you an album of everyday photos??? AHAHA
Pete - yes - and when she smoked the cigarette - you call the police)) That is too much, of course.. i would rely on the agency in this case completely. Before the agencies - there were guys crazy enough to hire surrogate mothers on their own in order to have kids.. And often the women who agreed on that were not the healthiest ones - and waged not the best lifestyle - well those guys did have the reasons to worry about. And today we can just relax.. because all the sides of the agreement are interested in the kid to be healthy - the surrogate mother is not on the last place.
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