how to check it?

Pete28
Posts: 868
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:38 am

Re: how to check it?

Postby Pete28 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:22 pm

Paul, are you talking that the child of that woman died? Wow, I can't even imagine how hard that was for her. Maybe this is the fault, why she is trying not to notice and not to hurt her child, not to have a conflict beacuse of that? What about her parents, why don't they influence on this situaiton and the behaviour of her daughter???

Paul_O
Posts: 490
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 7:39 pm

Re: how to check it?

Postby Paul_O » Sat Apr 15, 2017 6:45 pm

Pete - well , she does not want to notice that behaviour because that is the thing that is being called the blind love, I suppose) She does have the shroud on her sight.. I do not think there is anything that can be done about that.. If you are going to try to point her right at the heart of the problem - she is going to deny that it does exist at all. That is pretty sad - and pretty ugly at the same time.. We were trying to have some influence - bot on her - and her daughter - but that did not bring any positive results unfortunately. So we stopped trying ..We do see her rarely these days - and we do not know the details..

Ben_Roar
Posts: 694
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: how to check it?

Postby Ben_Roar » Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:15 pm

Paul - that is a pretty sad story about that female friend of yours.. But to tell it straight - and I know that some of you are going to call me a cruel person - such people do piss me off. i know that this kind of treatment to the obvious facts is never a result of a nice life - quite on contrary.. But i did know people who did have really terrible ordeals in their lives - and they came trough those without loosing the ability to see the things clear - and did not fall into the self deception.. what made these people to be different then? Suppose they are weaker then those that I knew.. But can that be the excuse for having that kind of life?

V_Vegas
Posts: 607
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2016 10:20 am

Re: how to check it?

Postby V_Vegas » Mon Apr 17, 2017 4:07 pm

Ben - in some way the people who do love blindly - and who do not understand that- they are mentally ill.. It is one thing when you do love person so strong , that even in case if that person is going to do some terrible thing - you are always going to love that person and help it. But that is other thing when the person does live in some kind of an imaginary world - and does not want to leave it. then it is useless to tell it anything - because it does not want to listen - as simple as that. In this case I prefer to step aside- and not to bother it - they do have their own fates. but that is sad, you are right.

Miles
Posts: 531
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:33 pm

Re: how to check it?

Postby Miles » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:45 am

Vegas - of course that can be understood. But are you that sure that you are not going to become the same type of a person - when you are going to have the child of your own? you see - it is not the same as having the friend. .when you do have a friend - that is a freewill alliance. when you do have the kid - that is the love - and commitment a the same time. when the friend of yors did change in some bad way - you are free to break the relations. .But how many parents are capable of that - when that is about their own child, that they raised and loved for many years? I am not sure I am going to be capable of that as well.

Tompson
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 7:29 am

Re: how to check it?

Postby Tompson » Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:40 pm

Blind love - this is really a problem. And it can arise not only in a person who does not notice the faults of a loved one, but also in the case of parents and children. Often parents because of strong parental feelings, because of tight attachment to the child, cannot objectively evaluate his behavior, his qualities and build illusions towards him. Therefore, many of the actions and actions of the child are unexpected for them. Under the pressure of strong parental feelings, children become capricious and aggressive, and parents experience tension in communicating with them, cannot find the necessary form of relationships and begin to adapt to the needs of children or begin to press on them, demand from them a reciprocal of the same strong feelings. A strong parental feeling violates a child's freedom and prevents him from expressing himself. Parents impose their worldview; she lacks genuine interest in the world of the child. This can manifest itself in increased control over it. When we see the child's aggressiveness toward parents, in general in life, one can easily look for a reason in their relationship. Children are our little teachers, and, often, they are wiser. They are given so that parents can live happier. That's what you need to learn from children, and then they will take from their parents what they need and will be happy.

DANIEL
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:39 am

Re: how to check it?

Postby DANIEL » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:23 pm

Paul, yes, you are right, this is exactly the best example of a blind love, but it has a lot of negative consequences already, and can you imagine, what the situation would be in future? She can lose her child because she is too stubborn right now, and does not do anything with that situation!

Ben_Roar
Posts: 694
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: how to check it?

Postby Ben_Roar » Thu Apr 20, 2017 8:29 pm

Miles - that is the worst thing for the parents. .May be that is going to be cruel ti say - but perhaps even worse than the death... i mean - not the child's death of course. when some close person of yours did commit some terrible thing.. you meet that person - and you are not sure whom do you see in front of you already.. There is a feeling that there is someone else is watching you trough the eyes that you thought you knew that well. i did have that experience. Five years ago - the person who was my best friend - did commit the rape - and almost commit the murder, when he was drunk.. Since then - I do not have any contacts with him.

Pete28
Posts: 868
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:38 am

Re: how to check it?

Postby Pete28 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:53 pm

Ben, I understand what are you talking about. I remember when I was in the university, I had a problem with one exam, and my cousin, who was elder than me, she proposed her help, and finally she did not help me, lied, and I did not pass that exam because of her, and more over, she stoled my money.

Ben_Roar
Posts: 694
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: how to check it?

Postby Ben_Roar » Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:21 pm

Pete - wow - that is a pretty wild story indeed. .Well did not you know her well enough to foresee that kind of action from her side? Or was that something that you would never expect from her to do ?Those would be two different cases, as for me.. How do you think - why did she act that way - only because that is the way she is - the deceiver and the thief? I suppose that you do not communicate with her after that occasion - am I right? I would not that- is for sure. .the only thing i would do - I would meet her once again - and you would ask for the explanation.. but I suppose that in this case it would not matter for me what would she say - the guilt was pretty much obvious..


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