Ben, I think that kind of feeling has every person in his life especially when we become parents ourselves. You know very often when we are young we thing that a lot of things parents do for us are not good but bad. But when we become older our perception of all those things changes and changes really greatly. I’m also very grateful to my parents for everything they’ve done for me and for what they still do for me. Now I understand that to be a parent is really difficult. You have to be kind and strict at the same time. You need know everything. Sometimes you need to punish your child and those moments I really hate. And I think my child also thinks that I don’t always do good things, but I hope he will understand in future that everything was done only with the thought to male his life better!
Ben - that is the thing that it would be good for me to learn. .I am not sure that I am able to be severe with the kid - especially if that is my kid, ,Though I have seen the consequence of parents being too soft on their kids. .the kids are becoming small tyrants - then - they try to become bigger ones - among the people that do surround them - but they do face the resistance - and they retreat.. Eventually they do become really miserable people.. I am sure that we are going to avoid that.. My husband does seem to be much more capabler of being strict and severe than me)
Miles- do not overdo with that severity - it only must be used if it is needed... some parents are too severe to their kind - because they do afraid that the lack of the discipline is going to make their kind being weak adults.. but instead they are growing up to cruel people. Take me for example - my mother always did buy me the things that I wanted - if that was possible for our budget of course. . I can say that she did indulge my whims - but I did not grow up being a selfish person... And I think that she just did feel what kind of approach is going to be better for me - and she did a really good job with that, as we all can se eby the result)
Some friends had a son. God did not offend the guy with appearance and figure; there was no light from the girls. While he was growing up, his parents gave him everything they could. They got into people, became wealthy, so they did not regret anything for the son. Like, "we in our youth did not have anything, so let the child grow in prosperity." A car? You are welcome! Has he made card debts? Parents scolded, but paid. Want to go on vacation to exotic islands? Go, son. The guy did not enter the institute, it was too lazy to prepare. I had to arrange it in a paid university. But he did not finish it, he left there. I got married and soon divorced. Parental hopes have not justified. Though, maybe, it will be corrected, after all young still?.. About what this example speaks. Parental strictness and exactingness are useful for children. Of course, we are not talking about such "strictness" that inflicts physical and psychological trauma on the child. I'm talking about normal parental love and acceptance. They are necessary for any child, so that he grows strong, confident. But love must be reasonable. One should not lisp and not indulge your child, but understand that you must raise an independent person out of him. Loving parents should teach the child to manage their lives, to treat them consciously and responsibly.
Eddie, you know, i would agree with you completely! I remember when I was at school, and when I came late at home after walks with my friends, when my mother was too angry and when we had a conflict because of that I did not understand why is she behaving in such a way, why does she panic because of it, and now, when I am looking at my small daughter, i can't imagine myself in this istuation, it seems to me that I would be bold during several hours because of that.
Vegas - you were a really smart kid in that case) Usually the kids do not have the "breaks" when it does come to their wishes and whims.. And if you are indulging all of them - that does lead the kid to the opinion that it can have all that he does want in this life without any efforts - that is something that is going to serve this person very badly when the person is going to get older - and is going to face the real life.. that might be a shock - but the person is going to have the habit already - and I do not think that it might be changed afterwards... So it is better to teach the kid that he can not have all that he wants from someone else)
People - I do have a pretty funny situation on the work now.. Well it is actually not funny - and not good at al.. the thing is that some people do envy the promotion that i got two months ago.. the queue was pretty long - and I was not even the second person in it) So now I am thinking - how to have peace with these people? They do not anything bad to me - at least for now.. But I just can not stand the thought that I do have enemies - especially for the reason that I am not guilty in... Is there a way to make normal relations with these people - or it is better just not to communicate with them?
Paul, I want to advise you some things. Do not irritate others with your excessively contented look and all the more so do not share emotions about the increase. Soul unraveling is, of course, in the spirit of our people, however, business ethics has its own opinion on this matter. And it consists in the fact that not everyone is able to rejoice in the success of others. The more limited the colleague, the more aggressive he will react to your appointment and overshadows his envy. Undoubtedly, the collective is discordant; there are others who can mentally celebrate their holiday. Give it one evening, sit somewhere after work and from the next day do not raise this topic again. A win-win option to get a portion of well-deserved praise and sincere wishes is to celebrate the rise in the circle of people who really can rejoice for you. That is, with family and friends. It is useful to establish contacts with colleagues who hold similar positions in the company. Their experience can come in handy. Carefully talk about the work of your predecessor, because among your new surroundings there may be his friends. Continue to improve as a specialist. Critically evaluate your knowledge, update them in a timely manner. Visit forums, initiate business trips. Do not abandon the corporate traditions adopted in your new circle. Do not become conceited.
Paul - I advise you not to pay attention to that.. And I think I should have to disagree with Kevin - i am sure that you are not that type of the person who is boasting a lot about the promotions.. first of all - you should not feel yourself "guilty" in front of these people. toy did not kill anyone in order to get that promotion, you did not do anything to undermine anyone's interests and anyone;sd career. you were just doing your job - and eventually you were chosen. .That was not your own choice. and if there is anyone these people should be angry on cause of unfulfilled dreams - is the person who did give you that promotion.
Paul, do not feel guilty, because you worked and received a reward. In order to avoid tension with the team members on the one hand, and to achieve the tasks on the other hand, I advise gradually to distance yourself and translate communication into the area of solving work issues, but act carefully and take it slowly. If you too quickly increase the distance, it can cause discontent or even hostility of subordinates. But if you do it too slowly, then there is a risk that people just will not feel the difference. The signal should be clear and unambiguous, so it will be easier for colleagues to restructure. Paul, another very necessary action. Paul, I think you need to get support and not be afraid of mistakes. New leaders often neglect the capabilities of the "support group", and after all, many friends and acquaintances can usually help them. For example, tell about your own experiences, successes and mistakes. However, the error is not a catastrophe. All are mistaken, especially in the first few months of working in a new position. But it normal. It takes time to become a good leader. A successful manager must learn to overcome difficulties. And the support of people, who are ready to help with advice in a difficult situation, will quickly become familiar with the new role and succeed.
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