Is it safe???

DANIEL
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Is it safe???

Postby DANIEL » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:34 pm

Miles, you are right about that, it seems to me that I have mentioned about this too, somewhere before, when we discussed the question of independence. To rely on somoene all the time means not to be ready to make something by yourself. I remember from my childhood I tried not to rely on someone, beacuse people cheated my faith in them, and sometimes even the parents of my partner ask me, why am I doing everything alone, and not ask them about something...

Miles
Posts: 531
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:33 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Miles » Thu Apr 13, 2017 8:02 pm

Daniel - in your case it does seem to be the self reliance that is provoked to exist because of the fear. .Though in some cases that is something that is a natural part of the personality. .In my case it is not that way - I do depend on people that I am close with - and do not depend on the strangers.. for example - when a friend of mine is going to tell me that my clothing style sucks - i am going to consider about that - and take some action.. but if that is going to be told by some stranger person - eve if that person is a modeller - then I would not give a damn about his opinion) I suppose that it does seem to be silly for you)

Pete28
Posts: 868
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:38 am

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Pete28 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:25 pm

Daniel, I understand you very good, I am trying not to rely on my mother and the parents of my partner all the time, or too often too, they are not young already, and people in that age need a rest more) But at the same time, even old people need to understand, that someone needs them, their help, you know, this feeling, when you know that you are needed...

Paul_O
Posts: 490
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 7:39 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Paul_O » Sat Apr 15, 2017 6:49 pm

Miles - it is one thing to accept the criticism from the people only after thinking if it;s reasons and meaning really well .But it is other thing to ignore the criticism at all, you see. You did mention that you would neglect the opinion of the modeller about your outlook.. I do not think that you should actually. Of course - that does not mean that you have to but all the new clothes he is going to tell you . but that does mean that you have to consider about his words. So when you are being criticize by the people who's opinion is really worthy to listen- it is better to use that possibility to take a look at yourself from aside.

Ben_Roar
Posts: 694
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Ben_Roar » Sun Apr 16, 2017 1:19 pm

Paul - even if you are dealing with the.. modeller - if to take this example.. You do like the way you are dressed. He does not.. and you do not like his suggestions on this regard. .Which one of you is right in this case? I think that both of you can be wrong.. Because - if you are going to ask another modeller - he is going to tell you opposite - that you do have sense of style in the way you dressed - and that other modeller is a potboiler) I think that first of all you do need to listen to yourself - when it is about the taste. Clothes, art, music.. Of course - there are things where you should trust only to the professionals - like the medicine for example.

Damien
Posts: 224
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2016 3:11 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Damien » Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:18 pm

From what we have to do with criticism, how we perceive criticism in its address depends a lot. Not properly responding to criticism, we can spoil the attitude not only of bosses and colleagues (which may affect career growth), but also with close people. Not paying attention to constructive comments, we do not pay attention to our own mistakes and mistakes, and in the totals we attack the same rake. Sometimes our failures are a consequence of some wrong actions that we cannot always see and understand, so it's important to pay attention to critical remarks. Not for nothing that they say that from the outside they know better. So criticism is useful. It is important only to learn how to react to it correctly.

Ben_Roar
Posts: 694
Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Ben_Roar » Mon Apr 17, 2017 4:00 pm

Damien - we do have to know how to react on that correctly - and at the same time we must know how to criticise people correctly as well. It is a subtle art - to determine the right time an circumstances to tell the person about it;s mistake. It is important to understand in what form you should use this critics. It is like with the poison, that is used in medicine only in small dose - in order to become a cure . If you are going to overuse it - that is going to lead to bad consequences. I prefer to criticize only one on one - and to do that i a very soft form - for the person to be able to see it's own mistakes.

Miles
Posts: 531
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2016 11:33 pm

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Miles » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:41 am

Ben - I prefer not to do that at all actually. there were few occasions when I did a mistake by telling people the truth about that did I think about some of their thoughts and actions - the reaction was really unpleasant. It was even twice more so - because what I did say was truth. .and when you do see that kind of the revulsion to the thing that are true - you do not want to speak with that person again - cause you do have the feeling that they are not ok, and that there is something unnaturally childish in their perception of the world around them.. So now when I do see something that I do not like in the actions of people - I am not getting into that)

Tompson
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2016 7:29 am

Re: Is it safe???

Postby Tompson » Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:25 pm

In principle, on the one hand criticize - do not criticize, you still get yourself know what. And on the other - if there is something to say on the case, then why not. The main thing is to do it in a civilized and reasoned way. And whether to take my words, as well as draw conclusions from them and apply them in practice or not, is a personal matter of the critic. Although in principle in life I try not to criticize people, because none of us is perfect.

DANIEL
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 11:39 am

Re: Is it safe???

Postby DANIEL » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:28 pm

Miles, yes, you are right, sometimes I have such fear, but what can I do with that, if I am living in such way a long time already?
Pete, I agree with you about the family, maybe I need to try to rely on them, and if it would work, maybe I would change my point of view about this 8-) I understand, that to be too independent is bad sometimes too :geek:


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