Only your partner will be able to figure out if he is the type of person who can love a child he is not genetically related to. I agree with you that just because you love your genetically unrelated spouse, does not mean that you can love a genetically unrelated child. We grow up expecting to love a spouse with no biological connection, but most people don’t grow up expecting to adopt, or love a child that is not their “flesh and blood”.Dreams are often made of study stuff, and the stuff some people’s dreams are made of is not very flexible. Better they know this before rather than after they adopt. Just know that many many people find that they don’t love their child, whether by birth or adoption, immediately. They make their way to love with the everyday acts of caring and nurturing.
In reality, the bond between baby and parent is not biological but mental. Contrary to the common myths about bonding, the process does not always happen instantaneously for either biological or adoptive parents. More often, bonding occurs over a long period. Some bonding may happen at birth but, for many parents, their profound bond to their child—a bond like no other—develops through a variety of experiences from seeing their child's first smile to watching their son or daughter graduate from high school or college. Do not be afraid -treat your child with love
It is so nice life story to read. Everybody has his own worries and doubts, but I am glad that you have overcome with your one. I hope I will deal with all my fears with such result too. Your story encourages my, thank you for sharing your personal experience! It is so nice of you! I love children and I don’t worry about it, but there are a lot of other worries you know)
From my point of view, there is no difference between adopted and your own child. First of all it is a child. It is a person, who is like everybody. Of course family relationships are important, but if we look from the higher point we all are a family, family of people who live on the same planet, and there is no difference between as. So I am really happy for you! You showed an example that all these superstitions are totally wrong. It is strange to put labels for people, like you are not my biologically relative to me, so I will not accept you and love you. You love your adopted child in spite of all your hesitations and that gorgeous.
I will. I hope I will become a dad in the near future. I prefer adoption process to achieve my goal. It is doesn't matter for me what child it is adopted or my biological. it is still a little miracle how could I not love it. It is my point of view. I understand that everybody has his own and don’t want to convince anybody. But I see you are on the same wave with me.
I have tried to adopt a child, and it is hard for me to talk about this awful experience. But what is about this question, I think that it is obvious that you will love an adopted gild like your own. I think now you totally agree with me. I don’t know yet how good it is to be a father. In the near future I will be a dad. So then I will tell you about my feelings. I hope that it will take not so long time to find a good agency and go through all procedure of surrogacy. How long did it take for you to finish the surrogacy program? Did it take a lot for preparing all documents and looking for surrogacy mother?
A child is a wonderful creature which excists in our world. So, for me it is impossible to imagine how one can't love the baby, especially adopted. I agree that there can be a lot of reasons why a child was set to a special institution. But in any case every single child desrves love and care. For me, it was enough just to look in these wonderful, deep and sencere eyes and at that very moment my life changed. When you love your baby it doesn't matter he is adopted or not because you just love him\her and this is the very pleasure of parenting one can experience.The most pleasant thing that a child feels it and he\she loves you in return every day of your life!
Last edited by Adam on Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am going to become a father through surrogacy motherhood, so I haven’t thought about this question. However I think that it is not a problem, because the child can be treated as adopted for relatives and friends, but for you it is not adopted. It is your child since the moment you have brought him to your house. You have bought a vase and it was in the store, but since you have brought it to your house it is your vase.
Hey, I can understand what you say about attitude towards the babies.. I had the same feeling. I mean - they are so fragile, and screamy, and they smell sometimes.. that is the way I thought time ago. But right now - .. nothing changed actually)) they are still screamy and smell sometimes)) But I love them nevertheless) Almost forgot the post was about adoption, not babies.. Before adopting a kid - you should know yourself well enough to answer this question - if you will love this child as your own. If you are a mature person - then you will be able to answer that honestly. Cause I think that when you are wise enough - you understand - that basically there is not difference. there are no "stranger" kids in this world.
If you are not going to love the adopted kid like your own one - what is the point of the adoption then? This choice is harder in many ways, then surrogacy is - first of all, because even on the level of instincts you feel that this kid is not your own. And you must be driven not only by the instinct of breeding - but also by purely human quality of unconditional love to the people around you. And the feeling that you must care and help those who suffer. It takes more to be a step parent - then to be a single parent. If it will ever come to an adoption in my life - I am going to love the kid as if he would be my own - and I will raise him in the conviction that there are no differences between adopted one and biological.
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