I read about the different options in the surrogacy - regarding the egg donor. There are anonymous egg donors. That means that women simply give their eggs - and they do not know what couple uses them for their program, as well as the couple do not know who was the donor. And there is another option - when you are asking someone yourself to be the egg donor. I read that people often ask their close female relatives for that.. I do not know. How would you feel when you would know, for example, that your kid - biologically - is the kid of your husband and your sister, for example? I think that does raise too many questions)
Now you see how it is important to talk to each other, to tell any secrets, problems and difficulties You see that you both wanted a child, but both think that your partner does not want to have a child yet So, I wish you adopt a wonderful child, I am sure that you will be nice parents
well, must admit your situation is not a fairy tale, really. first of all beacause your partner is against or perhaps not ready for the fun it is waiten, but also, when you decide getting a kid, you have to choose what way.. more expencive but better is surrogacy, cheaper is adoption.. I cannot say that something is better. all kids are great
V_Vegas wrote:I read about the different options in the surrogacy - regarding the egg donor.
there is basically the same situation with the egg donors, as it is with the surrogate mothers. It is all anonymous, of course, if you did not suggest your own candidacy for that part. And that is really good. As I wrote in another topic - the society can not adapt to the new possibilities that new technologies do open to us. that is why it is better to avoid some questions, that are in the area of the "grey morals", as it is called. Noone knows, what kind of relations must exist between the surrogate mother and the child she gave the birth to - and if there are any relations that should exist between them at all. It is better not to touch that question for some time, I think.
Ben_Roar wrote: that are in the area of the "grey morals", as it is called.
All surrogacy program is in that area, Ben) And the things that we are doing.. They may be considered as the sacrilege by many people. And that does actually happens. that is why the surrogacy, as the business and as the commercial act is forbidden all over the Europe.. or in all the world? That is why the agencies have to tool for the loopholes in the laws) And that is why there are so many problems with the surrogate mothers. But I think it is all for the good. We have kids - and we give them the happy life - can that be called being something bad? That is my main argument in this kind of discussions.
Paul_O wrote: They may be considered as the sacrilege by many people
There are reasons for it. but, since I decided to have a kid that way.. I am trying not to think of that. But the thing is that the technology is already available and it is wide spread. You cannot hide it and restrict it any more. Even if that would be done - people would find other ways of achieving their goals. I always thought - what if, say, in 10 years, we will find the way to grow humans in vitro, like in the sci fi movies? What would be a bigger sacrilege? The surrogacy, or such cloning? And I am sure that sooner or later we are going to come to that. At least, in that case the surrogacy will become more legal, as the lesser evil.
Andreas_Maroon wrote: What would be a bigger sacrilege?
I think that even if we are going to have that technological possibility in 10 years - it will take 50 more years to allow to use that technology openly)) Except maybe some secret labs, like in the sci fi) Anyway - I have good news) We chose the egg donor already - and the agency found the surrogate mother for us. The process will be started in a month - i mean - they will implant the embryo. We gave the seed already - so.. our part is done here basically. We just have to wait and to keep the finger on the pulse of the process.. Dammit - this is hard) To wait for such a long time knowing you can not have any influence on the process) We have to trust here the agencycompletely, I know)
Paul_O wrote: Anyway - I have good news)
Glad to hear about your progress - as well as of the progress of all other guys here.. when I am reading this - i really have the feeling of being left behind.. Hate feeling like that! Though the bright side of the situation is that I've found the guy who would be a great father and husband.. but we decided not to rush the things. At least I think so. We shall see. And speaking about that topic of the sacrilege. It is not that simple. What is really holy and sacred for us - the very fact of creating of the new life - or the details of the physical and biological processes that are used to achieve that goal? That was always the big question - what is the main thing - the wrap, or the thing it contains?
V_Vegas wrote: but we decided not to rush the things.
Oh, Vegas, trust me - if you really like each other - and you love each other, more than that - then you will move on very fast. Especially after such a mutual announcement. I've seen it too many times to have any kind of doubts about that)) And there is nothing bad about this. there is no rule that people need to await for some precise period of time to get married and have kids.. You need to listen to your heart and to your consciousness both - then everything will be fine - and you are going to make the correct decision. Just look how will it go, and listen to your heart. Everything will be fine)
Ben_Roar wrote: and you love each other, more than that - then you will move on very fast.
That is going to be that way if they are adult people - with no teenager stuff left in their minds. I mean - the adult people, who do see the love as something more than just "falling" in love. In this case, Ben, you might be right. And I hope it is going to be this way. When we decided to get married with my husband - we both knew what do we want from each other - and how we would like to see our life in 5 years. And here we are - everything goes almost as it was planned) .I hope that Vegas and his BF will have the same kind of relations. And the kid - the kid is the most natural thing when people are in that kind of relations.
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