Hello guys! The science did not give us the way to be biological fathers of the kid both at the same time. Not yet, at least. that means that when we are passing the surrogacy program, we have to make a choice, who is going to be the father. I bes that is not an easy choice sometimes) Did you already have this talk with your mates? Does that cause any argues and serious quarrels? How can the couple decide who will become the biological father of the kid without arguing and conflicts? How to avoid being pushed aside by your partner, or how to achieve the compromise in this question? I am sure that many couples passed trough that.. Well, they did not have other choice, did they?:)
i know that it is really very common question here and i have heard that in some gay families it is a real problem. i do not really know why people are quarreling because of it, it is not a problem at all and i think that you shall not bother about it. the biological father can be a person who really wants to have the child, who was first to suggest this idea, who have found the agncy, or who is actually healthier. there are a lot of ways whish may help you to choose who will be the father.or justplay in cards and who wins then he will be the biological father of the child. i think that it is definitely very good variant.
We had a conversation about this with my fiance. He insisted on me being the biological father, and I insisted on him for this role. We still did not decide. Basically, this is just the "competition of courtesy" , as people call it. We can make the decision right before we will have to give the seed for the process. If he will be persistent enough, I will become dad. Or vice versa. That does not matter for us, since we are one, basically, a solid family. This kid will be equally mine and his, despite of who's genes will be in the kid. And if I will see the small copy of my beloved - I will be simply twice more happy then I am now) I see it that way)
Andreas_Maroon wrote: "competition of courtesy"
I know what you mean) It is nice to see that you guys have that kind of competition. Because in any case you will both be winners) I think that I would have the same kind of situation with my fiancé.. when I have one) On the other hand, if the situation is different - and when the guys in the couple cannot decide who is going to be the father (when both of them are pulling the blanket), then I do not think such a couple has the future. You always need to compromise, if you want to keep the relations, and if you think they are worth of it. Straight couples have that problem solved automatically, how lucky they are)
Competition of courtesy - that is a nice saying) We had pretty much the same kind of competition, actually. With my fiance. He won) Because I made him, of course. I told him, that since he is 2 years older then me - he will be the first one in our couple who is going to loose his fertility, that is why I so have more time to become the father then he does. He laughed, of course) But in the end, I did convince him. I know that he wanted that much, and he really deserved that, after all we've being through. So now we are waiting for our surrogate mother to be available, and we will start. that is going to take a month or two, as the guys in the agency said.
Yeh, it is a little difficult question. My husband and I did nit think about it, as we decided to adopt a child at once. But I think if you love each other, if you really want to have a child, it does not matter who will be a biological father. But I would like to advise you to talk seriously about this topic and choose that person who is more healthier.
Perhaps i will be too selfish, but honestly, i want to be a biological parent soooooo much)) I really want to have a kid. i want to have even two kids, girl and a boy and i am sure i'll be blessed with having them by my side. so if we decide to have children, i'll ask my husband to be the first, wo become a biological dad.
Yeh, now it is still impossible two fathers are biological. But I think it does not matter too much. If you really want to have a child, you hav to decide who is going to be him. I think biological father should be more healther When you will manage to have a child you will understand that you both are fathers as you both will grow him up
i think that it is really very hard to decide who would be te biological father of the child and i really know that a lot of families have a lot of quarrels about it.and it is not surprising because all of us want to be the biological father of the child because in such a way the child would be considered ours. but i know that it is really impossible to do it nowadays. maybe in the future it would be possible and both of us would want to be the father. i do not know what we would do, because we are not parents yet but i think that for us it would be also very hard to choose it. but i really hope that we would know what to do.
Oh, it is not a problem at all, so you should not worry about it at all, you know It does not matter who is going to be a biological father for your child It is more important how you will treat your dear little baby. You both wil take part upbringing him, so you both will be wonderful parents for your kid, good luck you
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