Many married couples struggle with a lack of sex or issues in the bedroom. In fact, it is estimated that one out of three couples has a sexual desire gap. According to a study by the National Marriage Project in 2011, happily married couples ranked sex right up there with communication, commitment, and generosity. If you and your spouse struggle with sexual problems, it might be time to focus on ways to improve your communication, your sexual chemistry, and perhaps seek professional help. How can we admit that we do have problems with sex in marriage and how can we overcome it?
Well first think wether you really want to talk about it at the moment. Choose a time when you are both alone and not distracted. Having a conversation about sexual issues can be difficult and awkward, especially if you are both feeling the lack of sexual chemistry in the bedroom. Don’t spring the conversation on your partner when you’re having dinner at a restaurant or surrounded by friends. Look for a time when you are both alone, in a private space, to bring up the topic. A good time may be when you are both getting ready for bed, or after you have dinner together at home.
Broach the topic of sex in your marriage. A big part of strengthening the sexual relationship between you and your spouse is maintaining open and honest communication between you and your spouse. Bringing up the sexual issues in your marriage will show you are trying to make sex a priority in your relationship, instead of an occasional occurrence. Perhaps you have grown distant from your spouse or your spouse has grown distant from you. Regardless, be proactive and get the conversation started. Let your spouse know that you realize it’s important to have an intimate connection in a relationship, especially in a marriage.
Focus on how you can both meet each other’s needs. Tell your spouse that you realize you have both been unhappy with your love life and that you want to try to do something about it. If your partner responds with, “Well, I’ve heard that before”, don’t take it personally. Instead, ask your partner how you can meet their needs, sexual and otherwise. Discuss what your partner feels is lacking in your sexual relationship and what you feel is lacking, as well. Try to work together to identify possible causes of your lack of sexual chemistry. It can be difficult to talk about issues around sex. But as partners, you owe it to each other to be honest and to share any concerns around intimacy and sex.
Hear each other out. Don’t interrupt your partner when your partner is sharing any feelings or concerns. Focus on listening before you respond or speak.Ask if there are any specific issues or concerns. Try to get to the root of your issues. Don’t be afraid to be specific about your concerns, as this can lead to solutions to address them.If your partner brings up a feeling of boredom in the bedroom, think of ways to spice up your usual sex routine. Maybe your partner is feeling exhausted by their workday, or experiencing a negative image of their body. Discuss possible solutions to these issues, like taking less hours at work, going on a vacation just the two of you, or taking up exercise together.
Set the mood. This could be staging a romantic evening at home, with candles, a massage, and rose petals. Or it could mean thinking of a situation in the past where you were both turned on and feeling sexually connected. During these moments, were you taking more time for foreplay? Were you having sex in different positions, times of day, or locations? Try to create a situation where you were both turned on in the past and may be turned on now.Some couples find it difficult to have sex after having children. If you cannot recreate some of the past situations where you were both sexual due to your current commitments, focus on adjusting your daily schedule to make time. Ask your in laws to take the kids for the night, or plan a weekend getaway, just the two of you. Though it may not be exactly how it was in the past, you can still create moments now where you both are in the mood.
I think the best way to solve this problem is to discuss it. I understand that it sounds very banal. Truth be told it is the only one reasonable solution for all problems that occur in family life. Nobody from outside knows your family better than you two. However there is necessary point in this discussion and it is honesty.
Sometimes yes...Depends on the person actually. People should talk about their sexual problems, especially if they are married or are in the long term relations. The other thing is that they should know how to do it. Turn off any distractions. Agree to charge your cellphones on the kitchen counter and leave your laptops in the living room. Reclaim your bedroom for the two of you to be intimate together, rather than text messaging or email. Eliminate distractions that may be coming between you and your partner, especially in the bedroom. Just do anything you can to make such conversations more comfortable for both of you. Fair poin i think
I think you will feel that something goes wrong in your sexual relationship with your partner. It is not hard to notice that your partner is not satisfied with something. Also I think he will tell you if something is not alright. It is not a first date to be shy.
i know that most people feel unsure talking about sex and it is not surprising. but i know a lot of guys do not get pleasure from the sex. i think that it would be very difficult to get rid of it but if you try then everything would superb. you do not have to think about the orgasm during the sex, just do not think about anything, relax and get satisfaction. do not upset if you do not have it during the first time, you have to spend a lot of time on it. but i am sure that you will .and talk about your problems with your partner.
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