The day is still all right, work and colleagues distract, interfere with current tasks to think about being alone all the time, but evening and night is different. I do not want to go home because it's empty, and no one is waiting, but silence. Weekends and holidays, especially the long, new year's, for example, it is quite difficult even to remember them is not desirable.
First, the inability to enjoy life alone. Yes, this is not news, but this is the main reason of loneliness. To all who are lonely, difficult to make the first move, they find it difficult to invite, to ask yourself, to compliment the first. Invite somewhere even an old friend or school friend. Singles are waiting for that invite them and wonder what they should ask themselves. “Why am I?” this is the most common question those who are lonely. Yes, because you need it, you do not like solitude, because you realized this and take control of the circumstances into their own hands.
There is nothing bad or shameful, you are a bedside table, waiting to be moved to the right place, because can not herself – she had no legs, for example. You or the subject who acts, taking steps to live as you like, or object on which you perform actions, and then he just passively waiting for him to do something.
The second point, which is inherent in all individuals. You can make the other person smile? Just. For example, the first counter, whether male or female, older, younger you. “Why do I need it?” Yes, at least, wanted to escape from loneliness. You know what will make the other smile? And you know what'll make you smile? Probably first attention.
But it is all you need! Interesting feature, if you manage to “smile” someone, you will smile back. And quite honestly. Look at yourself in the mirror when you frown, smile to order and smile genuinely. See the difference? What you yourself prefer? Here others, including your future soul mate, you also like the same.
Do you like to create something, to sew, to create, to sculpt, to create, to conjure? Men less women suffer from loneliness, because they do not sit idly by, when we are alone. Im bored, usually, though exceptions too. Men often loneliness is not satisfied, because there is no mistress in the house, not who cares about them, no one to talk to, to trust, to open the soul, to live for somebody's sake or because it is necessary, require the family to marry.
The transformation of the modern way of life, the complication of the representations about the world, the increase in the degree of intensity of life, growing material and spiritual needs, the expansion of social relations of personality as a way of solving problems in a competitive environment – all these factors can cause the state of loneliness. Theoretical and practical analysis of current psychological problems in the system "personality - social environment" showed the high importance of such areas of study as the assessment of loneliness in adolescence and young adulthood. These age periods are indicators of the severity are experiencing a state of isolation, the lack of fulfilment of young people problems in the acceptance of peers and significant other people.
The problem of loneliness as a phenomenon of personality is connected with the variety of interpretations of this concept among different researchers: the feeling of loneliness and social isolation; the painful experience of forced isolation and voluntary seclusion associated existential search. Man by nature alone, he comes and goes in this world alone. The feeling of loneliness in interpersonal contact of the individual performs a regulatory function and is included in the feedback mechanism.
However, physical isolation of a person does not always lead to loneliness. Personality can be comfortable in solitude, if she learned how to be in dialogue with itself, and the more her language of communication with life, the easier and more productive this dialogue. Such languages may have different ways of expression: music, painting, photography, crafts.
Historical retrospective of loneliness draws us to the XVII century, when the word "character" pertaining to the human personality. At the end of XVI – early XVII century in the English language there are "introspective" are terms that describe the inner psychology of personality: disgust, dissatisfaction, disorder, physical isolation. At the same time, the meaning of a condition of "isolation" is filled with separation of someone or something, deprivation of communication with the environment, protection from outside threats. In his "Experiments" M. Montaigne writes that solitude is a refuge from the people, Affairs, the possibility of enrichment of self . In the XVIII century the English vocabulary of emotions filled up by words such as "sadness", "boredom", "melancholy"
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