a man of your dreams has kids

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Adam Levine
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Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 3:08 pm

a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Adam Levine » Mon Jul 04, 2016 4:26 pm

So you've met the man of your dreams...and he's got kids. How do you deal with the situation? Kids can complicate things, if you don't know exactly how to insert yourself into their relationship or even how to handle kids at all. Or if you hate kids...Why not...Things like that can happen? So what would you do then? Date him or not? And what if his child will not like you in the end? Who will he choose then? His child or his love? Though question,right? Did you face such situations before? Would be really interesting to see your ideas about this topic... Hope you do not mind that there are too many questions)

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DaddyAdam
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:38 pm

Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby DaddyAdam » Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:03 am

Aww shitl...Take a deep breath and make sure you can handle this kind of relationship. Being with a man with children is never an easy thing and it isn't for the faint of heart. Don't feel bad if you can't deal with the division of attention. Consider it self-preservation. Take some time alone to make sure this is what you want.Talk to your man. Sometimes discussing how you are feeling will not only make you feel better, but it will let him know how you are feeling. Granted, you can't whine about every little thing, but repression is bad. Do your best if you really want to be with that man

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Richard Hawley
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Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Richard Hawley » Tue Jul 05, 2016 12:06 pm

Try to have a cordial relationship with the kids' father (if he's around). Don't become best friends (your guy will feel like he is being double teamed) but don't be cold (he may turn the kids against you). Don't be afraid to ask your man about his relationship with him. What they did, but more so, why they did they break up? Sometimes figuring out him quirks will help you deal with him better (him too).Make a point not to meet his children until you've been dating at least three months and have a very strong agreement that you will have a future together. Really get to know the kids well. Don't forget that every relationship is different and your children may appreciate knowing the person that their parent is dating, especially in cases where the children are older.

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Albert
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Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Albert » Tue Jul 05, 2016 2:07 pm

Don't talk down to the children. They know what is going on. Being overly nice will set off warning bells. Sit down with the kids. Tell them that you are really nervous about meeting them, because you really love their father. But - most importantly - you don't ever want to give them the impression that you are there to replace their first father. Emphatically state that you know you could never take that place, but you will always be there if they need support. Tell them you don't want to change anything about the way they've been running their lives, their family traditions, or their relationship with either their father . Tell them that you may need some help learning those traditions. Finish up by telling them that you're really looking forward to getting to know them better and be open to questions.

Argo
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:11 am

Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Argo » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:30 am

I think there are not problems with it. Childrens are our happiness and it does not matter whom they are. :) :) To find a man of your dream you need to be happy while living alone. If you want to be ready to find the man of your dreams, then you have to be content with your own company before you begin your search. :) Forget the myth of finding the man who completes you or makes you whole, you should already feel like a fulfilled, well-rounded being, whose life will be improved by the presence of the right man, but not completed. :D :D You should have enough meaning in your own life -- through your friendships, work, and outside interests -- to make you a person who is happy on his own but ready for commitment.

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Peter Parker
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Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Peter Parker » Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:06 am

Don't be upset if one of the children initially doesn't like you. It could be for one of the reasons above. Or it could have nothing to do with you. Manage it gracefully and talk to the child with respect.Any man that you fear telling your friends and family about is probably a man you know isn't good for you.If you are a single man without any children of your own, be honest with yourself. Do you really want a relationship with excess baggage as well as emotional baggage with his ex?Be honest with yourself. Sure, the guy is great and you guys have the best time, but if kids are not your thing and you can't overcome and try - it is ok to feel that way.

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Mark007
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Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Mark007 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 10:05 am

Be honest in your ability to accept his children. Understand that his love for them doesn't compromise his love for you. You don't have to be their mom but you are going to be family. If you can't handle that move on early and spare everyone the pain.Talk it out. Talk with your man, your friends, or blog. Sometimes getting the feelings and fears out will make you feel better. But you should also remember few things.Don't go into the relationship looking for a ready made family - be there for the man, everything else is a bonus.Try not to talk too much about his ex, especially (but not only) if he is a widower. It can be hard for him, as it is in the past, and he probably doesn't want to be reminded of it. Remember that right now, he is with you.

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Steven Tyler
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Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Steven Tyler » Wed Jul 06, 2016 7:31 pm

Even once you’ve met his children, take it slowly.You’re not Mary Poppins, and his kids may not like you at first. We’re all human beings with insecurities, wants and needs. The difference is, you’re an adult and they are still kids, so it’s important to think before you act. There can be tension and tempers, so you need to put on your big-girl pants and take things in stride. There will be arguments, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Don’t force your relationship with his kids. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Take the initiative and reach out — spend a little one-on-one time together. But don’t be surprised if they rebuff your efforts at first. They don’t know you, so how can they be expected to trust you? Take things one step at a time and form your own relationship with them.

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Natan Scot
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Joined: Sun Jul 10, 2016 5:30 am

Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Natan Scot » Mon Jul 11, 2016 12:02 pm

I guess that YOU have a problem, not a man with a kid)))) you just listen to yourself, man. you say that the man of your dreams... it means you love him and want him to be with you forever, but you cannot accept his kid. perhaps you are not to be there then&& if you are an adult and understand the meaning relations and that guy had a previous relations and they brought him a child, then be courage to accept them both. if it really matters for you. if not. then just leave it and that is all))) I do not really see here a problem. if you start relations with a guy, you'll start them wuth his child as well.

Daymont
Posts: 193
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:35 am

Re: a man of your dreams has kids

Postby Daymont » Fri Jul 15, 2016 2:08 pm

Hi everybody here) Nice to meet you here. First of all you need understand yourself and your needs. :D :D :D Know your own real needs and distinguish them from other people's expectations. Be honest with yourself about your faults, you need to meet someone who will find your faults minor and forgivable but prize your strengths. Sometimes they are the same thing - a determined go-getter can be described as stubborn by someone who doesn't like him. Try turning every criticism anyone ever gave you inside out, find the compliment version and ask if it is true. Really knowing yourself will make you much more ready to meet someone else.


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