Hi guys) Waiting to see how things shake out is a bad idea. As soon as a situation starts going south, step up and point out where the problem started - with you, yourself. The sooner the problem is identified, the sooner a resolution is possible, and that minimizes consequences. This means you should state the problem directly, clearly and simply rather than beating around the bush or attempting to confuse the issue in order to make you look less responsible. Again, when problems crop up, the quickest way to the solution is simple, direct identification of the problem's origin and details. Trying to skate around an issue is just frustrating, and in the end the problem takes much longer to deal with and becomes more complicated the longer it goes on.
If this is your blame - then accept it. I was always acting that way, even when I was a small kid. and I am glad that I as raised that way. that helped me to become a person that I am, the person that one can rely on, and who's advices are worth of listening. but sometimes there are situations , when there are several people, who share the blame equally. Or when it is difficult to tell , who is guilty. In this situations people may act differently. In this cases you see, what motives does the person orient on in its actions - compassion, the feeling of justice, selfishness, or wisdom, that can see the consequences of every choice. Just remember one thing - always be honest with yourself.
There are situations when the source of your trouble is the other person. But when you know that that it is you who is guilty you should always accept your blame, accept the consequences and become a part of the solution. It will be really mature and responsible step. Once you realize that something has gone wrong, take responsibility and admit it at once. To expect that everything will be resolved by itself – it is a very bad idea. Don’t try to put the blame on someone, even a small part of your guilt. Of course, this does not mean that you should be responsible even for what you did not to do. Share with someone to get some support. Learn to accept the consequences. Keep your head high and move on. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. But if we are smart, we make our lessons and mark for ourselves, that we should no longer repeat them.
Adam wrote:Learn to accept the consequences.
that is a good point. During my life (and all the s*it that I had in that life)) I came to the conclusion that there is no point to blame anyone in anything. You just observe the way things happen, make your conclusions and move on. There are people , who do f*ck up all the time. You dont have to blame them for being silly, and they dont have to feel shame for being that way. you just need to make a conclusion, and never to do any business with this person. People do like to blame others... It is the primary goal for them itself. to blame someone, rather then to search the exit from the complicated situation. That is what all the 90% of all the quarrels are about.
Ben_Roar wrote:Learn to accept the consequences.
I am agree with that as well. You will not ever feel the blame if you s are a responsible person, and you do not lack the common sense. This kind of a person will do all that it can in a certain situation, and if eventually this person failed, it will know at least that it did all that it could. Many people like to put the blame on themselves, even if they are not responsible for the situation, or if they did all that was in their powers. that is the lack of common sense that I was talking about. It is not good to take too much on yourself. You are not a God to predict and control everything. You just need to live your life attentively. then you will not have to blame yourself in anything, and to take those accusations from anyone.
One must remember, that the feeling of guilt is a very powerful manipulator, that many people use to make others act as they want. If some person tries to put a blame on you, you should consider really carefully, if there really is any blame of yours in what happened, or if this person simply wants you to feel the guilt. In the second case, if you accept the blame - you will be in this person's pocket. It will feel your "weakness" and will put more and more upon you , until you will be ready to act as it wants to "redeem your guilt". That is a usual type of behaviour for several zodiac signs particularly) So before accepting the blame, consider, if there is anything to accept for you at all)
Paul_O wrote: the feeling of guilt is a very powerful manipulator,
That is so, and often relations are poisoned with that kind of behaviour from one or another side. If you do not want to fall into that dependence, you need to be really observant of your actions and be able to foretell the consequences. And first of all you need to know what do you really want to achieve with every action and word. there people, these "manipulators", are very sensitive to people's fears, and they make their game on these feelings of fear and non-confidence. It is better to avoid that people. Else way you will be under siege by their attempts to feel the guilt for lot of different things. And if you fell in love with a person of that kind, then I really do feel sorry for you)
Ben_Roar wrote:the feeling of guilt is a very powerful manipulator
I know what is that on my own experience. Several years ago, when I was still a bisexual, I had a girl friend. She always tried to make some situations that would give her an opportunity to put a blame on me. For example, one time when I needed to do some urgent work, she was trying to take me to some concert. We did not go. And she was recalling that for several months, telling me that "I never gave her enough attention". Only because of one concert. Some people like to collect such occasions, and then use them in the proper situation, to make you feel the guilt and do something they want from you. Now I try to avoid that kind of people.
To my mind if you feel the blame you must not show it to somebody. It is only your own feeling. Do not give anyone an opportunity to control you or your feelings with this blame. You should not accept any blame for being yourself. I hope you haven't done some criminals))))
yes, i can accept the blame because i understand that it is possible in our life to be wrong and to make mistakes, and sometimes you do something not right or even very bad you have to accept this blame and to know that it was your mistake and you have to change something in your life. of course i have been in such situation when i have done very big mistakes and i had to be responsible for them. and i was responsible although i knew that it would be good for me. i am mature man and i have to be such and to behave in such a way.
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