Hi everybody here) Every relationship has its ups and downs. From time to time, problems can be especially difficult to overcome.You may be struggling with huge issues in your marriage. But that doesn’t mean that you should rush to the divorce court. Often, when a couple reaches the lowest possible point in their marriage, things can start to get better. Although painful, hitting rock bottom usually forces a person to take a good hard look. Most marriage problems are solvable. It is usually when a couple comes to the end of their rope, that they are willing to receive help to put the pieces of their marriage back together.
i think that it is visible not only for you but also people around you notice it well. it does not happen in a one day, you relation start ruining for a long period of time and you see that you can not find a compromise or you do not want even to do it. you are even prepared to such thing, you know that you would not be together nd it would be even better to break up. of course there are situation when one of the partner just leaves the family and that is it, but i think that it happens rarely, in most cases you are prepared morally to it
I guess that you are sure to understand it, cause you'll feel the cool attitude of your husband or perhaps you feel it yourself?? I mean the cool feeling of indifference.. It is one of the worst things that can happen in the world, you know? That is why be aware of your own feelings and also of the feelings of the person beside you. talk about probems with him. if you want ot keep the marriage, then fight for it, man, if not - do not torture yourself and your spouse it is not really fare. if you know it is over then better to over then to live without love.
Spouses who can work through everyday life as a team can typically make their marriages last, but if you abandon each other in pursuit of your own self-interests, you won't be able to coordinate your daily lives in an effective manner. Marriage requires you to live your lives together, and teamwork is essential in making that work. You need to make joint decisions about matters that affect you both, including everything from parenting to finances. You also need to view your spouse as a team when thinking about your own ambitions, and the favor must be returned. Spouses who work toward separate goals will naturally drift apart from each other.
Daymont wrote: but if you abandon each other in pursuit of your own self-interests
that depends on how to look at that. I mean - to abandon someone - that may have quite different meaning for different people. For some people "abandoning" means not calling each other 10 times a day. Often it happens that way. One person in the couple has the job, hobbies, other interests - and other one just sits home and does nothing. And while the first person lives its life to the fullest - the second one feels itself being "abandoned". Even when you're married - marriage must remain only a part of life - an important one - but not the only one. Both must have some life of their own. That will not mean "stealing" time from the marriage - but that will help them to share things with each other - which only one of them both do have - and make both their lives more rich and colourful.
The marriage is over when the couple does not have neither mutual goals - not mutual passion already. the first reason is more common. Not many couples can brag about having that hot passion of the first dates after, say, ten years of marriage. Then what is left? The habit, no doubts, that is harder and harder to change as the years are passing by - and mutual goals. Usually those are kids, their future. There are not many couples that divorce after 10 - 15 years of living together. There are exceptions of course. The marriage is over when you feel that you dont really care, if you have that person nearby - or no. When you simply have the life of your own - and your spouse is not involved in it.
First of all you should admit that there are some problems in your family! It is the most difficult thing here. You can feel that you don't love your husband anymore. But it'll be fare enough to tell him about it. There are some signs that can help you to understand the fact that everything is over: you stopped talkig, your are not interested in yuor half's life, you or your second halp have somebody on a side!
Hello Richard. I know really well of those signs you are speaking about. I was not married - though I think it is pretty much the same with any relations. I was in relations that are called now with a bizarre term "civil marriage", I was always wondering - if there is a civil one - there must be military one as well?:) Anyway - those signs and feelings is something so imperceptible for the first time that you dont even know that something is wrong. But you start to notice that later. The bad thing is that you dont know how to speak of that with your partner - because up to the last moment you cannot understand if this is for real - or it inly seems to you. And then those stupid questions start - "Dear, is everything fine?" - "Yes, sure, why you ask?".. While both do know what it is far from being "fine" already))
You may notice some things. Constant abuse, unflattering words and personal attacks occur more and more. When there is no respect and love, there is no sense in your relations. Physical relations do play an important role in a marriage. If they are missed or do not meet the full one of the partners, it is one of the signals of the end of the marriage. Marriage’s success depends on the ability to compromise and move towards each other. When these two things are missed, it can lead to quarrels and mutual accusations. When a couple continues to argue about the least, it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Your marriage can not survive without active communication. You can be sure that your marriage is falling apart, if you do not communicate with your spouse as before.
I think that you can consider the marriage being over, when you start to feel that you do not have any mutual goals any more. It is not all about the feelings and emotions. The marriage is also the commitment, and the things that can be achieved only by working as the couple, as a team. If you feel that you do not see your future the same way as your partner does, it is worth of being discussed with him. That is twice more sad when you have a kid. On the other hand, a child that you have may be the strongest bond for both of you. When such a problem appears, you must think about "what is good for our kid" first of all. And make a compromise decisions. Co-parenting, for example.
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