Developing your interests. It's easier to start interesting conversations when you invest in developing your own interests. Be familiar with your interest so that you can articulate them. Broaden and deepen your interests by having the attitude that you are interested in everything. Another way to broaden and deepen your interests is to ask questions about others' interests. If your friend loves baseball, ask him which teams and players look good this year or ask him questions that clarify the league structure. Don’t be afraid to let the conversation go in interesting directions. If you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related. What can we talk about?
Ask an open-ended question. Most people love to talk about themselves; it's your place as the conversation starter to get them going. An open question requires an explanation for an answer rather than just a simple yes or no. Open questions tend to begin with who, when, what, why, where, and how, whereas closed questions tend to start with do, have, and is/am/are.Closed questions: "Do you like books?", "Have you ever been to this university?", "Is spring your favorite season?", "Am I intruding?", and "Do you come here often?"Open questions: "What sort of books do you like?", "What did you study here at this university?", "Which is your favorite season? Why?", "What are you doing right now?", and "Where's your usual watering hole?"
Know how to combine general remarks with open-ended questions. Since either one of these might be awkward or out-of-place on its own, combine them for maximum effect. For example:"That's a nice handbag, where did you get it?" This lets the handbag owner talk about the day that they went shopping and all this funny stuff happened, as opposed to: "I like your handbag!" "Thank you." (The end.)"What an amazing buffet! Which is your favorite dish?" Asking an opinion is especially useful, as it can be followed up with the classic open-ended question: “Why?”"Fantastic turnout! Which of the lecturers is your favorite?""I love your costume. What are your favorite sci-fi movies?"
Ask them about their pets. Animals are often common ground with people you have nothing else in common with. If you like animals in general, it's easy to relate to other animal lovers whether they prefer dogs, horses, birds, cats or wildlife. While talking about your own pet might be annoying to some people, asking them about their pets is a great way to get people to open up and start having fun.Brush up on current events. Chances are they'll know about it too and if they don't then that's a good thing to talk about! Read or watch the news and when you're ready to start a conversation with someone, say something like, "Hey, did you hear about that helicopter crash? That was pretty crazy."
If you heve not the theme for the discussion you can talk about the subjects or things that every person has. Keep your questions non-invasive. Be sure you're not asking them questions about topics they'd rather not discuss. For example, some people might be very uncomfortable discussing issues that they feel touch on them personally, such as weight, lack of having a degree or qualifications, lack of having a steady date. Try to be as thoughtful as possible even though you don't really know them yet. You need to be sure that person understand and interested in what are you talking about) You also should not ask the private guestions because it can harm people.
Draw on previous discussions. If you know the person, review a mental list of topics you’ve discussed previously and continue on one of them. For example, their kid’s milestone, one of their projects, or some bad news that they shared with you. This not only gives you something to talk about, but it also shows that you pay attention when you talk to them and you care about their problems and experiences enough to think about and remember them.Ask questions that are easy to answer. Some questions are a little harder to answer than others. Has someone ever asked you your weekend plans and you thought, "I don't want to think about my weekend plans... do I really have to answer that?" Most people prefer easy questions, like "what are you up to today," or "is school killing you these days?" This should make conversations flow better and feel more comfortable.
Be sensitive to their feelings. Keep your questions non-invasive. Be sure you're not asking them questions about topics they'd rather not discuss. For example, some people might be very uncomfortable discussing issues that they feel touch on them personally, such as weight, lack of having a degree or qualifications, lack of having a steady date, etc. Try to be as thoughtful as possible even though you don't really know them yet.Be bold. Connecting has been such a necessity recently that you can't be shy about it. If there's a reason to connect, find a way. If you love somebody's work, tell them.
Let go of your fears. When you suddenly feel that you're not able to engage in conversation with another person, it's likely that you're telling yourself a few negative things, such as worrying that you're boring, not good enough, too unimportant, intruding, wasting their time, etc. This can leave you feeling tongue-tied. Feeling self-conscious when carrying on conversation with others is not unusual but it's also not productive.Relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird (unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff).
Walk away i guess....I mean how can that happen that you have nothing to tslk about with person. There always few things you can discuss. If you feel that you have nothing to talk baout it means only few things - you do not actually like the person you are talking to, you are bored or you are just shy... Admit it guys. Keep the conversation going with small talk. This keeps the conversation light and simple, which is especially useful for people who are still getting to know one another better. Use small talk to establish rapport and similarities rather than set each other up for an opinionated argument.
It is a PROBLEM really. and if i were a therapist, i'd say that this is the first hint that you are not meant to be together, man. I have dated several guys till my partner, you know and there were situations when i had nothing to talk about with some of them. it was like we were two magnits turned to each other with a wrong side. nothing went okay and we split up very quickly. to have sexual relations does not mean that relations are good. You have to talk about something after it as well, so think twise, when date someone with whom you have nopthing in common.
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