You may draw on previous discussions. If you know the person, review a mental list of topics you ha’ve discussed previously and continue on one of them. For example, their kid’s milestone, one of their projects, or some bad news that they shared with you. This not only gives you something to talk about, but it also shows that you pay attention when you talk to them and you care about their problems and experiences enough to think about and remember them. Keep your questions non-invasive. Be sure you're not asking them questions about topics they'd rather not discuss. For example, some people might be very uncomfortable discussing issues that they feel touch on them personally, such as weight, lack of having a degree or qualifications, lack of having a steady date.
You can speak about something neutral. Start asking questions and talk about what you have in common. If you even know someone remotely, you have something in common. It could be that you work together, know the same people, go to the same school. If you ask the right questions, you can get this person to really open up, and then you will form a bond. The key is to be a really good listener. You can keep the conversation going with small talk. This keeps the conversation light and simple, which is especially useful for people who are still getting to know one another better. Use small talk to establish rapport and similarities rather than set each other up for an opinionated argument.
i do not believe that you do not have even one common topic to talk about. it is really impossible, even people who have nothing in common and do not know each other has something tp talk about. to my mind even if it seems that you do not have common interests is not true. you may ask him about his hobbies or about his day, about plans for future. you do not have to understand him or to be interested in it , you just may listen to him in order not to silent. there are many topics you may start, just think about it.
Many marriages are falling apart because of the fact that after several years of marriage, the couple literally has nothing to talk about. You should do something if you do not want your relationship to be ended. Look for common ground. Ideally, you should bind not only family life but also the common interests - work, hobbies, etc. Never tell a partner about yourself first! Leave some space for imagination and at times be unpredictable, making any crazy things. Live in your life a place for romantic! Spend leisure time together! Arrange trips to the cinema or theater discover the environment. On the holidays it is better to go somewhere to relax with the whole family, not to stay at home. The more new experiences you will have, the more things you will be able to discuss with your spouse.
Hello Will! I did like your point about speaking of the topics, that your opponent is aware of and that do interest him. that is always a good decision, if you want to know the person closer and be in good relations with him. And in the same time it does make your circle of interests more wide. People like to speak to good listeners, and that is a rare talent these days. People like to talk more then to listen usually. When such a person finds a good listener, it becomes almost addicted to him, and created the bond by itself. If you are a good listener, you do not have even to say a word, but your opponent will like to be with you. Let him speak, and with your silence you will do more then you could do with a thousand words)
Hey guys) I never had such a problem.. I mean, we all do live on the same planet, isn't that a reason enough to have some things to talk about?:) I always had a lot of interests, and it is hard for me to recall an occasion when I would experience some awkward silence with anyone. Though I think that this is a matter of the candor, not of the intellect and the amount of information that you posses. There are lot of silly people who never shut up in any kind of company) In this case you really pray for the silence to come) If you really have nothing coming to your mind.. then there are 2 main topics left. The weather and the politics) Both of them do not demand you having any information or brains)
I always hated the thing that people call "the awkward silence". I cannot say that I did experience it often, but I did a few times. that is a pretty strange feeling, because on the one hand, you have the same human being as yourself sitting beside you, on the other hand you have the feeling that you are in different universes) Anyway, I am always trying to find some mutual points of interest.. The resent events, the politics, something that we both share in the society that we live in. If I do not manage to find anything like that, I simply try to make him talk about himself. People like to talk about themselves in the most cases. Usually that does work)
Paul_O wrote:I always hated the thing that people call "the awkward silence"
Sometimes the silence can be awkward indeed. but I know people, who are taking any silence as the awkwardness. I do not think that it is always so. Sometimes you are feeling so comfortable with the person, that you do not even need to speak. When you are walking together somewhere, or sitting and having some time in cafe. And this feeling is mutual. I think that is the highest level of the conversation. When we both do not talk and just listen, enjoying the very presence of each other. That was the way I always felt with my husband.. In such silence you can feel that you've found the person you were looking for , a real friend, or a mate. A relative soul, as people are calling that)
Ben_Roar wrote:"the awkward silence"
the silence is awkward when it hangs in between awkward people , in my opinion) This kind'a funny topic, really... I though recently : if you have nothing to talk about with the person - punch this person in it's face. There will be so many exiting things to communicate about! You will call each other with lot of new different words, some of them perhaps you've never heard. You will learn so many things about your close relatives, and will get valuable advices about where you must go and what should you do with yourself! Kick in the face - instead of a thousand words! I need to copyright that)) A good slogan for.. a conversational club, perhaps?:)
Oh I can't imagine such situation when one person has nothing to say to the other. We can always find a topic for talking. Talk about general things: literature, weather, etc. Also examine you interlocutor, pay attention to details. Maybe you'll find something to start with. If to talk about such situations, then it is better to try to fill your life with new emotions. You can do something new together or you can travel, then you'll have what to discuss.
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