If every guy you date has different relationship goals....The biggest struggle of dating is the internal battle one undergoes when deciding if he wants an open, polyamorous, or monogamous relationship. I’ve been in all three relationships and neither was perfect, but all provided wonderful learning and growth opportunities. While I have generalities of what I want from being in all the different relationship structures, I can certainly tell you that one size does NOT fit all. Relationship dynamics are unique. The relationship I want with one man is not exactly the same kind I’d want with another.
A lot of guys on apps really aren’t honest.“I remember, after an extensive chat online, meeting someone in person, and they were nothing as they described. Their pictures were years old, and we didn’t have the same interests/conversations we had online. It’s become a thing to hide behind a virtual wall and become something you’re not. That’s why I prefer meeting someone through mutual friends or activities. There aren’t any surprises. Just be honest to yourself first. Think of things you are looking for in your future boyfruend...And do you really want to get into relations now?
Nothing’s worse than getting a message from a guy online who refuses to show you a picture because they are ‘discreet.” If you are an out and proud gay man, it’s hard to date someone who doesn’t want to be seen with you/hold your hand in public. It’s like you are a mistress but aren’t since you both are single. I understand that people are in very different places in their coming-out process when they are 20. Each guy is at a different place in their gay maturity. Though I respect that, I still want to find someone in a similar place of coming out. It can feel like babysitting otherwise.
Relationships and dating are not the same thing. I’m so tired of going on one date with a guy and then he thinks we are an item. And, in general, I despise this notion we have in our culture today that you have to be practically already in a relationship to date. After seeing an attractive guy, you have to make small talk. Then, after trading numbers/social media, you make attempts to hang out with the person in large group settings. Only when you have learned about the person do you ask them on a date. It’s not that serious. If you see a guy you like, ask him out. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out.
And you really can’t escape the hookup culture of your twenties.MEN. LIKE. SEX. You get two men together, something is always bound to happen. But, that can be a complicated issue. I’ve been on many first dates sealed with sex at the end of the night. I feel like a lot of gay people, not all, feel like something’s missing otherwise, but sex is definitely like the goodnight kiss rather than something uber romantic. And most apps are hookup apps. It’s just too easy to get a fix. Who wants to go through all that dating bullshit? Thats is what i think ... Sorry not sorry
i do not think that it is a very big problem. the problem may be in you and in your head and it is the thing which may spoil your happy relations but persona;y i do not believe in it. if you want to be together and yo feel that you are happy together then anything may spoil your relations. sometimes the thing that you are different and you have different dating standards may even make your relations more exciting and interesting. think about it and do not break up until you will understand that he is not for you and you are too different
I think we are as usual people as others. But many people do not think in a such way. They judge us, laugh at our feelings, say we are strange. But they can not understtand us, they can not feel our emotions and needs. And it is some kind of challange to go out with a boy nowadays, persinally for me. I hope a lot of people will change their minds soon.
Yeh, I agree that gays can have some problems or dating struggles. Fortunately, I did not face any difficulties and hope not to have them in the future. Everything is not so easy in this world, so sometimes we have to struggle to achieve success. I wish we do not face any problems, but it is unreal. So I wish everyone is happy.
I do not really understands what did the author of the post mean by the terrible "difficulties" that 20 years old gay do experience.. i did not experience anything like that and I was not trying to compare my relations to the straight couple relations. It was all pretty simple with me - when I was lonely, I felt down, when I was with someone - I was happy, that is as simple as that) The most problems in this age may be caused by the reproaches of the surroundings, that is true... But I am not sure that the relations between gays really differ that much from the relations in straight couples. It's all still about the love, jealousy, loneliness, etc..
I did not understand what is this topic about as well. What struggle does the author mean? With whom? Maybe the author has some kind of inner problems that he is eager to share, but shy to do that? Adam, what exactly you mean by the "problems and difficulties" in dating? You are afraid to get acquainted with the guy or something? I can teach you how) Dammit) the age of 20 years is the very best time for the dates! All the feelings are still fresh - and there are so many things out there to explore for you! What is the problem?:) Maybe you are creating those problems yourself, as it is fashionable to do these days?:)
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