relationship with a stepchild

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Richard Hawley
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Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:18 pm

relationship with a stepchild

Postby Richard Hawley » Mon Jul 04, 2016 7:41 pm

Marrying someone who already has children can be a challenge, especially if the children will be in your home for more than a handful of days throughout the years. Building a solid relationship of any kind takes time - surely you did not meet your spouse and marry in the same day? That same effort you put into your adult relationship will be needed to build a solid, loving relationship with this child. And can we say that stepchild is the same thing as adopted child? How can we build nice and lovely relationships with a stepchild? Can it bring huge problems into relations with partner?

alex32
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 2:07 pm

Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby alex32 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 9:29 am

I believe that it depends on the age of a stepchild. The sooner the better. I mean if the child is from 1-4 years old it's easier to find ways of communication. Children of this age do not deeply understand the way of relationships between adults. They only begin to learn the world. They just do not clearly know why it happened. Why their parents had a divorse and now there is a new person walking around their house? But, still it is easier for them to get used to a new member of the family, especially if they being treated well. What about teenagers..well this is difficult, because some of them are angry to the entire world, they blame everybody in everything and become unruled. I mean when you are 15-years old boy/girl in the middle of constant parents' fights and then divorse...well...i would not wish this anybody. Still i hope there are ways of solving problems and you need only to find a key to a stepchild. I think it's possible

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DaddyAdam
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Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby DaddyAdam » Tue Jul 05, 2016 9:46 am

After all, these are some very serious changes for a child and they can be a little much to take. By letting the child set the pace you honor his emotions which may change from day to day and can be difficult for him to sort out.Remember, you are not “replacing” a parent. Whether there was a divorce or a death, that child has two parents- and a stepparent. Respect that.Understand that the child may still be grieving the end of the previous marriage. The child may still be working through issues related to the end of the marriage- there are all of the stages of grief for him to get through no matter how that marriage ended.

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Albert
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Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Albert » Tue Jul 05, 2016 1:56 pm

You are a new person- the child is still evaluating how he feels about you. These feelings may change from day to day so there will be good and bad days ahead.You must be the adult here and accept that it will not always be a perfectly smooth process. By pushing the child, you are telling him that the focus is on you, that his feelings or his real parents do not really matter. Is this really the message you intend to send?Understand how a younger child may react. A young child may be more open to a relationship with you but is also more likely to be confused by the entire situation.

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Peter Parker
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Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Peter Parker » Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:09 am

For a young child, remember to minimize upheavals in schedules and routines as much as possible. Again, look to the child for cuing here- ask the child what he likes to do or what he would like to do. maybe he would like to stay with traditions and maybe he would like to try something new. Let him guide you.Do not put too much thought into being called “daddy” on one day and then something else the next. Young children have been known to call their teachers daddy so, it is a matter of title confusion and not an accurate assessment of their feelings.

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Mark007
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Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Mark007 » Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:44 am

Be prepared for how an older child may react to the situation. An older child may be more hesitant to connect out of a sense of loyalty to the “other” parent. There may be anger and animosity from the child toward the parent that “left” because in his mind, the family was abandoned. All of these possibilities can hinder the relationship and can make some situations needlessly tense.For an older child, be aware that you may not know how much or how little real information the child has been given. You also do not know what information the spouse has been letting slip in front of that child.

Argo
Posts: 150
Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:11 am

Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Argo » Wed Jul 06, 2016 1:09 pm

Hi everybody here) One of the biggest mistakes that a stepparent can make is to rush in and try to create a family out of all of the moving parts in this puzzle. That whirlwind from dating couple to married couple to family may work in the movies but in real life there are a lot of things to consider. After all, these are some very serious changes for a child and they can be a little much to take. By letting the child set the pace you honor his emotions which may change from day to day and can be difficult for him to sort out. You are a new person- the child is still evaluating how he feels about you. These feelings may change from day to day so there will be good and bad days ahead.

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Steven Tyler
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Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2016 3:31 pm

Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Steven Tyler » Wed Jul 06, 2016 7:11 pm

Do not feel like it is your job to “set things straight” because the truth is, you may not know the whole story about the end of the marriage. Even if you do know the full story you still do not need to “correct” the child’s narrative about it.Be extra sensitive if your spouses previous marriage ended in death. While a divorce can be hard to understand and accept for a child, the death of a parent is even more devastating. It can be hard for a child of any age to allow themselves to have feelings for someone without feeling like they are betraying the memories of the parent they have lost.

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Jimmy
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:19 pm

Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby Jimmy » Thu Jul 07, 2016 4:45 pm

I think it will be any troubles with the stepchild. I mean not any troubles at all will occur, but the same amount like with adopted one. It is no difference in general. You cannot avoid problems in any way. Maybe It is just going to be troubles on the different ground, but still you will need to solve them. So just relax and enjoy spending time with funny bunnies.

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franky
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Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:52 am

Re: relationship with a stepchild

Postby franky » Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:24 pm

We can never know what is going to be in the future. But we have a power to live our life and to build our relationships as we want now in present. Don’t forget about importance of our thoughts. Everything begins in our brain. So if you think about negative results, no doubts, they will be negative. It depends on you what kind of relationships you will have with a stepchild.


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