Son is 12 years old, well-developed, does tests with excellent results. With his sister plays great. And in general in recent years – he closed from adults, even relatives, goes in to his room, in the classroom sitting silently, doesn’t answers the questions of the teacher, although the answer he knows, most of all loves to be alone or with his sister. Well, with a computer, of course. It seems that he just does not need communication. What to do? Maybe we should just wait as it’s just a period in his development which is called a difficult stage? Or should we try to change something? But how?
Insularity often accompanies intellectually developed people, therefore it is necessary to take this child, what it is and take into account its ability to self-criticism, which can really help adult life. While communicating with your child, remember that a person has two ears and one mouth, so listen we must at least twice more than talk. We need to give more opportunities to speak the child's behalf, not crushing parental authority. In conversations with the children never to say that the isolation - it is a serious problem. In communication is necessary to emphasize that the fear - it's just the unexplored possibilities. After a person will do terrible things to him, over time they will become commonplace and carrying huge opportunity. A child should always be trusted and any issues relating to the family, should be discussed together.
I think Adam is right about the intellectually developed people. Nevertheless, I think you should try to talk to your son. To ask him, if something bothers him, if he is ok, if anything bad had happened. Sometimes such a simple talk can resolve the problem. Hope that will be your case. Maybe it is just a milestone on his way of development. Maybe he is a genius, and he got to some brilliant idea, but he knows that he will not be accepted with this idea in several closest centuries) Try to speak to him, I am sure you will find the mutual understanding. Or try to talk with his sister. Maybe he tells her all the things that he does not want to tell anyone else.
It is so nice you have such a nice and intellegent son. It is a pity he began to bahave in such way. I think it is a sifficult period in everyone's life. He is a teenager. Maybe he has some problems with his friends or classmates. If he does not talk with you, he does not trust you, I guess. And it is more serious problem. Try to make your relationships closer.
The most important thing you can do for your child - talk to him. Parental love is not only to ensure life and buying toys, but also in constant contact with the baby. Do not deny him communion, give time to work together to draw or play. It is often a child asks a little attention, and parents are better things to do. But such behavior in a child develop the very withdrawn, which then it will be hard; parents should teach the child to communicate with other friends in kindergarten, school. From the early age it is necessary to praise the child for his determination, give him the right to choose, learn to recognize their mistakes and correct them. When a child is confident he will be able to easily tie a communication.
Insularity of the child - the result of a stressful event for him and in order to fix the result, it is necessary to find the cause. Try to drive a new baby in interesting places, get acquainted with other children or adults. You need to convey to the child's mind and form his idea of joy and undeniable benefits, which gives communication with other people. Useful are board games, which are attended by other kids. And, of course, show the most positive example to the child. Of course, the situation will not change on its own, as there will be an instant change at once. And if you understand that to cope on your own you can’t and the child becomes even more locked away, closed in itself, it is necessary to consult a psychologist.
Insularity sometimes happens during teenager period, you know Children always change during this period of life, so do not worry about it too much. Some children become even more active and talkative, and some children close and do not want to tell anybody anything. Try to talk to him and find out if he has any problems
First and foremost advice of psychologists - to talk with the growing child. It can be difficult to draw a teenager to a frank conversation. Parental authority is weakened, it is confusing and annoying to both sides. The conversation should take place on an equal footing. The conversation does not belittle it because of age, he's just learning to be an adult. Try to find out the reasons for which the child is looking for privacy. Himself a teenager cannot see this is no problem, explain how you see the situation. Be part and give your child a reason to think that you consider it "abnormal". Find out what happens in the life of a teenager, together, decide what changes will go in his favor. It is important that your child has been a popular and sociable and that he has a close friend and can feel comfortable in society.
Tompson wrote:Find out what happens in the life of a teenager
You are completely right about that. But, once again, it is important to show some respect to his privacy. It is one thing to ask the kid to show some trust to you. and it is quite another thing to intrude into his inner world by force and demands.. that will give the opposite result to the one you were hoping to achieve. That is a wide spread mistake among the parents. that does happen even if they do have good intentions. You have to be delicate and patient, if you want to gain the kids trust - and to help him to solve his problems. allow the kid to choose himself the moment when he will want to tell you his secrets.
Child is a real treasure for any parents. We need to remember it's our responsibility to make him happy and wise in life. If he is so shy now and doesn't want to communicate it's not so good. But for every problem there is a solution. If he speaks with his sister it's already a plus. What if his sister will take her friend and he starts to communcate with at least one person who is not his close relative. I am sure you have some cousins or frinds' children who can make a company for him. Don't invite too much and make a crazy party. Just 2-3 peers who can have common intersts. I'm sure you can help him to find a good company.
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