First of all divorce isn't that bad, the worse is living in the family and pretending everything to be fine. Children in divorcing families suffer only when parents care only about the divorcing process and not paying attention to child's feelings. It is always sad to realize that your parents have split and your are not one big happy family anymore. Children can get into trouble, feel lonely and be angry. They can feel themselves unloved and unneсessary. Thinking if it was their fault and they did something wrong. The best way to stay close with your children during divorce it to make them feel safe, show them love and let them know that no matter what both parents still love their children. And always will.
First of all, divorce is almost always stressful for children. Most children do not want their parents to separate unless the marriage was full of intense conflict and anger or other sources of misery not suitable for children . Divorce also can strain parent-child relationships, lead to lost contact with one parent, create economic hardships, and increase conflict between parents . Second, divorce clearly increases the risk that children will suffer from psychological and behavioral problems. Troubled children are particularly likely to develop problems with anger, disobedience, and rule violations. Other children become sad for prolonged periods of time. They may become depressed, anxious, or become perhaps overly responsible kids who end up caring for their parents instead of getting cared for by them.
Oh that is a painful question! Of course children suffer when their parents are gettind divorce, many children start thinking it's their fault. I had an acquaintance whose parents are divorsed and this is a huge psychological trauma for him. He doesn`t believe in existence of a happy marriage! That is unfair that children should suffer because their parents don`t want to work on their relationships! That is a great problem of our time!
Two people can't live together and they decide thay need divorce. Yes, they can decide their problems in such a way, but what about children? No matter how old they are, be sure they suffer. But I agree that there are some couples who are divorced but who still behave like friends. So, if you can't avoid the divorce try just to stay good friend, not for yourselves but for your child!
Last edited by Adam on Fri Jul 15, 2016 8:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Divorce may be a big stress to the children, we all are agree on that. Though divorces may be different as well. there are ones that go smoothly - as the natural ending of relations , when two adult people feel that they just nee to let each other go. In that case the kid may not even notice that something is happening, first of all, because parents will not show any bad emotions in his presence. But on the other hand there are divorces with screams, tears, crying -and all that in front of the child. In that case it leaves a very powerful imprint on the psychics, and, as I know - when such people are growing up - there are not high chances they will want to have a family of their own.
Andreas_Maroon wrote:there are not high chances they will want to have a family of their own.
That may happen - but that is not a rule, dude. There are many people who experienced their parents quarrels, even with beatings and that kind of stuff - and still when they grew up - they became good parents. That all depends on many things. The person see not only the example of its own family - there are also other relatives, friends, mass media - you can see lot of positive examples around. Though I know what you mean. I watched Forrest Gump movie again recently - Jennie is a very good example of what a bad childhood may cause. A couple need to be really delicate, if they have a kid - and nevertheless decided to make a divorce.
Adults think that children can forget about everything with time. They understand nothing when they are little. But it is not so. Divorce affects adults, but most of all it affects children. But I agree, that sometimes they can even feel relief. I mean such families where parents spank their children or partners. One more important thing is money. It happens so that after divorce a parent can have financial problems which is the reason to change the life style. It also can cause some negative effect on your child. But the most awful thing that a child can think that he is the reason of the divorce. And all his life he will feel guilty for this. Still if divorce is the only way out try to do everything in order not to change the life of your child greatly!
of course divorce affects children very much it may be a big trauma for the child when his parents divorce especially if they were in good relations and child did not see their conflicts and quarrels. but if you explain to the child they ou still love each other but you just need to live separately and you will love him even more and would not forget about him then i am sure that you will save your child from depression and stress. with the time he will understand everything but when he is a child it is better not to not to put this grief on his shoulders.
Hello everyone. My name is Viktor - and I am a child of the divorce. Yes, yes, thanks everyone)) My parents separated when I was six. I cannot say if it had a big influence on me - because I do not know what kind of a person I would be if they would stay together. I cannot recall much of that time. But my parents were very delicate people - and if there were some big quarrels between them - I did not see that. I have only one faint memory. Our apartment in the evening, the rays of the setting sun on the wall, its orange shimmering trough the window curtain. And faint mothers crying somewhere from another room. I did not know what was happening. We moved to another apartment with my dad a week after. I did not feel sad - since I did not know what was actually happening. the only ting that i can say - love your kids - and make the decision only if it will benefit the kid...
I never faced divorce in my life, that is why it is a bit difficult to be completely objective as for this point. but if to judge out of what i see almost everyb day, is that those kids who grow wothout one of the parents are a bit closed to the surrounding. For example when our parents divorse we differ) When we are young, most of us just tune out all the noise and try to make the best of our lives. However as we get older and become adults, we see them as equals and you simple cannot stand all the racket. BUT, it's their racket and it seems to have worked for them...so we just keep our visits short.
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